The Call Of The Woods
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Yuki put on a brave face when her son, Natsu, followed in his uncle's footsteps, but she's not sure that she'll be able to, when her youngest daughter eventually chooses that path as well.


Life feels a lot like that river, the one that sometimes tries to take life away from us. I know, that it takes little brothers away from home, ensnares mothers in trees and down muddy slopes. It takes small paws up and across mountains; it reminds us that not everything is in our control, because if it was, bullies would not sprout up, middle schools would be closer to home, and the forest would both be endless and end right where home is. I think that sometimes the path as a daughter, as a mother, is wobbly and the road is interwoven with tricky snares and choices that are not always easy to make.

"Haru, it's time to come in." She reluctantly looks up, dark snout hitting the sunlight, only darkening it up some more. I don't have to wonder if she's disappointed; of course, she is.

"Is he out there?" At first, the question though well meant by my now _human _daughter does not register. Ame's out there; he always has been, since ten marked him a man.

I know that she doesn't know Uncle Ame's howls from another younger wolf that joined him out there, and I know that she's only asking about the younger of the two.

"Yes, Natsu's safe." I know that she's still too young to know what that seventeen year old looked like, that she's still far too young at six to know what her older brother was like. She's seen the pictures, heard the stories from her other older brothers and her two older sisters. She's known that he was adventurous like his mamma, that somehow he chose the path of wolf, before she'd even been born.

Haru doesn't know of how her mom and dad fought that night, how I crawled into bed, shivering as all I could remember was my own younger brother, that I couldn't help but make that same shaky choice that my mother'd made before me. Souhei'd been furious, like I was, and if he'd been a wolf, he surely would have transformed to look for his third son. That night, the bed was a mountain between us, and our youngest couldn't stop crying, until she climbed into our bed, not sure why her big brother wasn't home yet, and curled up between us. I think that she's the only one that managed to calm us down and relieve the worst of the tension that night. Little Hana, though she's not quite as little anymore, really was a life and probably a marriage saver.

Souhei isn't quite as angry with me, anymore, but I'm sure that he still has nightmares of the day that our son left home, to live in the forest, to train under his uncle. I know that I still have nightmares of the stormy day that Ame left, and so though, I was a little more prepared for Natsu's decision, I wasn't ready for it. It still hurts, and sometimes Ame is replaced by Natsu in my nightmares. I'm so glad that it wasn't storming when my son left, that we didn't fight then, even though there are Ame and Natsu sized holes in my heart.

"Okay, I want to meet him, Mom." Haru tugs herself in, looking smaller than she should, her long dark hair is almost draped around her frame, and I hate seeing my kids look so small, when I wish that nothing in the world could leave them so broken.

"I know." I breathe in, if only to escape that burning feeling that tugs against my throat, "I want to see him again, but right now, Daddy's made some good food, and we should go in and eat lunch."  
"Okay." Haru follows me inside, and I know that that desire won't ever quite leave her, the urge to know her brother in more than stories, that feel like ones you tell about the dead. He's out there, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for our youngest to leave in a few years or so, either.

She's too much like the way that I was when I was her age, though school hasn't faded that at all from her. Haru will probably choose the path of the wolf, and we'll miss two children out of the six that we have. Two children that will live and sleep in the woods, and no longer have hot meals to eat here at the place that always felt like home to me.

Ame and Natsu have a different home out there, where the winding river cuts through the muck of the woods, and where howls are the finest forms of communication, much better than yips or barks. I miss them, and though I put on a brave face when Natsu left, I'm not sure I'll manage when Haru leaves too.


End file.
